‘Nobody’s perfect’, my dear Uncle once said to me with his famous grin. ‘But some of us are much closer to perfection than the rest!’ I loved his sense of humour but he had a point. It’s easy to forget that we’re all human and that means that we’re all subject to the countless imperfections, doubts and fears and foibles that can make us difficult to live with.
Holidays and Relationships are the perfect place to reveal how our idiosyncracies can impact on the people around us and most of the arguments and conflicts that arise between two people are a product of the underlying fears that drive many of our behaviours. All negative reactions flow from our fears. So how do we learn to tame these unpleasant and destructive reactions? It might be easier than you think.
When you feel irritated or annoyed, it’s incredibly helpful to ask yourself what you’re afraid of. This is a very powerful habit to adopt and an effective means to disarm the cycle of anger and arguments that can flare up so easily between two people when they share their lives in close proximity. All anger is an extension of your fear. Reveal the underlying fear and the anger evaporates. It’s as simple as that. If the root of our negative reactions can always be traced to an underlying fear, all we need to do is follow the question ‘What am I really afraid of here?’ and see where the answer leads us. Fear is for the most part a very potent illusion. It is fueled by our emotional energy. When we cut off the fuel supply, it disappears. In a heartbeat.
So, rather than endure the constant strain of conflict and unhappiness that sometimes dominates the holiday season, and too many relationships, let’s disarm the source of our anxieties and frustrations and learn to see ourselves and the people around us through the light of inner peace an calm. It’s one of the simplest yet most effective ways to transform your relationships. Take away the anger and learn to experience a completely new level of communication with yourself and with your loved ones. You all deserve the sustaining nourishment of love and acceptance rather than the toxic intrusion of your fear.
Learn more about this Language of Love and know the secrets to lasting relationship now!
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